


Really?

by LifezVictory



Category: The Gate (audio game)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Crack, First In The Fandom, Gen, I blame my whack teenage hormones for this, Mild Swearing, Oneshot, Plothole Fill, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26425882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifezVictory/pseuds/LifezVictory
Summary: After finally reaching The Gate and defeating Carmilla, Patrick comes to a sudden realization.
Relationships: The Imprisoned Vampire & Patrick (The Gate)
Collections: The Gen Sub Hub





	Really?

**Author's Note:**

> The Gate is an audio game created for the blind by VG Storm. I don't deny the work put into it, but it was extremely cliche and has one of the biggest plotholes I've ever seen. So, in a state of migraine-induced madness, I wrote this masterpiece.

And then, in one desperate last move, Patrick raised the wooden weapon he created and plunged it directly into Carmilla's heart. The leader of the vampires let out a cry of pain and anger. "AAAAAAGH! YOU WILL OPEN THE GATE!" She screeched, then proceeded to sink her fangs into the boy's neck. Then, with her last dying strength, she smeared the blood she had drawn onto The Gate. It opened just enough to allow a **devilishly** handsome man to step through. This man is Hades, ruler of The Underworld, who is also Satan in this universe.

"Excuse me sir," Hades purred, trying to sound like a posh butler, but is that really what butlers actually sound like. I doubt it... "It seems like you have some blood on you, why don't I open this gate and help you clean up?"

Patrick raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Wait, aren't you already through? And..." He looked down, noticing the body of a very dead Carmilla lying at his feet. "Wait, that **worked?!** But... that doesn't make any sense! You're telling me that these vampires have been waiting around for a human to open The Gate and everything, when they could've just stabbed themselves with a piece of wood?!"

Hades frowned in mock concern. "Ah, my boy, the blood loss must be making you go mad."

"No! No, I think I'm the only sane one here if what Morgana said was true. She said vampires would have killed themselves if they could! You mean to tell me they've been around for thousands of years, and not one of them has tried the wooden steak to the heart method? Really?"

"Well, of **course** Morgana was speaking falsely! As loyal a servant as she is, even I must admit that she is very much insane."

Patrick didn't seem to hear the death god's words at all, acting as though he'd never spoken. "Come to think of it, that's not the only successful method. In fact, there's this weapon called the Lightning Rod that I found? Kills vampires pretty darn easily. And it was laying around this very castle the whole time! Why did **not one** of the vampires here try it!? Y'know, there's nothing stopping me from killing all the vampires, or giving one of them these weapons so they can do the job and be free or whatever, rather than opening The Gate and stuff."

Hades gasped. "Oh shit, he's right!" He mutters to himself. _Quick Hades you fool, think of something to stop this human!_ "Uh, you'll have to get through me first!"

"The fires of Hell will be much hotter for you!" Hades screams in rage as he fades into oblivion, no longer powerful enough to remain on Earth.

Patrick leans against the wall, panting heavily. "W-well, **that** wasn't hard at all."

"Patrick!" A familiar female voice cries in joy, not coming from within his mind for once. Sure enough, it's the imprisoned vampire that had been helping Patrick on his journey through the castle, who he still didn't know the name of despite her being his only friend in this place.

"Oh, hey!"

"I saw the whole thing, it was incredible!"

"If you could break out so easily, why didn't you do it earlier? I could have really used your help when... well... basically all the time."

"Oh! Um... insert dramatic speech about me not feeling strong but you finally convincing me here!"

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense then. But what doesn't make sense is... well, if you saw the whole thing you must've heard the vampire issue I brought up with Hades."

"Uh, yeah... I don't know what's with that either. But uh... I'd be glad to help you finish the job as you so eloquently put it."

"You'd kill the rest of your speecis?"

"Uh, yeah! They're all assholes! And it's what they want sooooo..."

And so, Patrick and his vampire friend spent some quality time together, killing off the rest of her speecis. Little did Patrick know that this was only delaying him from the inevitable truth. That his original goal, to save his mother, was unsuccessful, and she had died a long time ago. But hey, at least we get Infinite Mode. That makes things better, right?

**Author's Note:**

> I regret nothing!


End file.
